Foozeball!!!

Alright kids, here goes another bleeping fucking post.  Damn I'm good, I remembered to bleep the cuss words.

I feel like writing about the Falcons' preseason game tonight, since my soul has become revitalized with professional Atlanta football.  If you're wondering about my sobriety, I did take home a 64 ounce growler of a 9.5% IPA, perks of the job mother fucker.  Without further adieu, here are my notes from tonight's game:

First of all, if you are concerned about the Ohio Tigers beating us by 24 points in the preseason, you are a fucking idiot.

Defense:
Two second team players stood out to me, Alford and Worrilow.  These two guys made most of the tackles throughout the second and third quarters, and each of them had at least one in the backfield.  Also, like I assumed last year, Mike Nolan is a fucking genius.  That guy showed us just a tiny sliver of how he is going to mix up the defensive line of scrimmage with the first team, and it still caused the offense to make a couple of penalties.  Trufant still has to show us some shit, and Bierman can cover some tight ends much better than we did last year.  The only thing I regret is the fact that Brian Banks did not prison rape anyone after he made a tackle.  Is that wrong for me to want?  I don't think so, football is all about entertainment. 

Offense:
Our biggest concern is Lamar Holmes, and he did alright after the first series.  Also it is important to remember that we didn't have Julio or Tony, and Roddy only was targeted once by Matty Ice.  The offense is not going to be of any fucking concern this year.  SJ39 didn't do much at all, but he was basically the only focus of the defense's front seven the whole first quarter.  Just you wait bitches.  Chase Coffman was also more impressive than I expected.

Bee Tee Dubs, if any of you ESPN folk are reading this, I may consider toning down the language for a seven figure analyst contract (hint hint you fucking sluts, I look damn good in a pin-striped suit too).

Well, that was a lot of serious talk, so now its back to sodomizing a pair of scissors and a toaster oven.  Goodnight lovely readers!